Sunday Reflection: All we, like Sheep
Perhaps you aren’t of the same propensity towards an impatient nature that I am, but you likely will find a level of relating in this meditation, regardless.
We spent this week feeling very much “in the midst.”
In the midst of growth in our work and organization.
In the midst of the struggles of parenting small children and not reaping in the same season that we sow.
In the midst of ministry burdens and desires and knowing we may have many years to wait before they come to fruition.
For me, there is always a tension when I’m in a season such as this, a wrestling to move forward from this place and a longing to see the beauty of full bloom.
I am prone then to taking matters into my own hands. I’ve seen a small glimpse at what may be in the future and I spend the majority of my thoughts filling in the gaps and assuming I have seen the entire masterpiece that is to be built.
Somehow I continually find myself under the belief that the Lord has given the idea and it is now up to us here below to ensure that it gets carried out. We must protect the idea and force it into being in the very same way we have allowed our minds to envision it.
This simply is not the case.
It is as if I begin to operate as an atheist - as if God is not actually in existence and certainly not able to carry out a matter that He began in the first place. I say with my words that I am trusting in Him for the things yet to unfold, all the while I am spinning wheels and trying my very best to will things into existence. This is not the way of a believer whose heart is fixed on Him.
The very thing I have claimed to have surrendered I am busily trying to make grow and thrive on my own. This is not the way of surrender.
We gathered this morning in a small church building and with hand raised I sang lyrics that brought to mind the idea of our being but humble sheep following after a shepherd.
It was then that I was reminded of the truth once again - I am not fit to lead.
I am merely a sheep and should I try to lead it would be an aimless wandering with a hope that somehow I would arrive at the right place.
How silly to resort to such a way of life when there is an all-knowing Shepherd who calls to me to follow His steps.
To follow is not simply an act of progression though.
To follow also will require a refusal to go another way even when the other paths call out to me and pique my curiosity. There is a discipline required in following.
I think back to the week I’ve walked through. I did not practice that discipline. I let my gaze wander, I took short strolls down other paths in hopes of finding my own way at a faster pace. Instead of thinking on the ability and competence of my Shepherd I instead fed the lie that I am certainly qualified though there is no proof of substance to back up this claim.
I now stand at the beginning of a new week - a new opportunity. What will I choose? To grow in the discipline of following my Shepherd or to wander about on the hills in an aimless nature so that I can end the week feeling tired but with nothing accomplished?
To follow is to be led on a journey of purpose. It is to experience the green pastures and the storms alike that will prepare me for future journeys.
To follow is to allow the journey to form within me the necessary abilities and growth to ensure that when the masterpiece is revealed I can fully enjoy what I have been brought into and am ready to find my role within it.
So friend, If you are like me in any small way, I invite you now - let us lean hard into the discipline of following our Shepherd, for He is very good and worthy of staying close to.
Cheering for you,
Amanda