On Internet and Identity

I’ve recently been evaluating my relationship with the online world after a several month break from Instagram.

It is a tricky thing to run a business that requires an online presence (we actually help others with their online presence) yet, to feel a continues distaste for it.

Some shrug and simply say it’s the way of our world.

Here I am typing words that will be shared on it.

Yet the distaste is still lingering there.

I’m trying to come to terms with it to the extent that I should and little more.

But then I am conflicted. The messages are everywhere to find your niche. What do YOU want to be known for?

Forcing us to think that we can indeed be summed up by a simple tag line, a short bio, a label.

Amanda is known for…. What?

What does Amanda have to offer the online world?

And to contemplate these questions throughout the day while simultaneously scraping by on just a few precious hours of sleep due to the teething baby is perhaps unwise - perhaps even ridiculous.

And this is where I’ve arrived. We are more than Instagram bios.

We all like to find a way to sum ourselves up. A way to polish and refine until we have an identity online. What are we known for? If it must be summed up in simple taglines, then wrapped up with a neat bow.

If you think of anyone who seems to have all in order you can be assured that they’ve only become an expert at showing the corners that are in order.

We are all more complex than that - we are all a massive pile of contradictions and daily praying for greater wisdom, a peek into the days ahead, please Lord?

We do not know what we are known for - but we can all be reminded, it matters little so long as we are living for the One who orchestrates our days.

Our identity can’t be summed up online. We will perhaps never feel comfortable writing a short bio of ourselves.

I am Amanda. And just here in the beginning of my mothering journey my neat plan was already left behind when we said yes to two little boys coming to stay with us.

I am now foster mom, homeschooling mom, someone who is very bad at keeping up on the laundry.

I am conflicted on many points and I will more than likely only ever know that I want to be known for following Christ - beyond that I live within a world of changing seasons and shifting plans.

I hope perhaps you can relate?