On not raising jerks, and other thoughts on parenthood

It was one of those shared posts —the type I usually scroll past.

But this one caught my eye —a thought on training your sons in the way of purity from infancy on.

I have three boys under my roof, so thus I was intrigued.

And this is what it went on to say in nutshell form — little babies and toddlers who never learn discipline, rarely grow up to be men who live lives of discipline in the hardest battles.

As I thought it over, another internet encounter came to mind.

I had recently stumbled across an account on Instagram where a mom shared short videos of encouragement to mothers on the art of parenting.

They viewed her as an expert and her following count was high from the number of desperate mothers looking for ways to survive their way through the “terrible-twos”, grocery store tantrums and arguments with 4 year olds who have suddenly arrived at the epitome of knowledge and wisdom.

She shared little “nuggets” on not entering the battle. When a toddler makes his demands known with gusto, shrug it off.

When emotions of anger burst forth upon your day, encourage them to take deep breaths and walk them through the feelings — don’t suppress or chide.

Again, in light of the earlier read from that one shared Facebook post I wondered a bit. “What happens to a generation who is never to be told a no, never walked through the path of self denial?”

Will they win the war against purity? Will they live lives of saying no to the flesh and yes to the higher calling?

I would venture to guess that the heroes we applaud from the many days past did not come from a background of emotional outbursts shrugged away and wilful demands shrugged off.

We may dodge the bullet in the moment but I think, perhaps, we’ll lose the war.

The war of raising children who grow to give of themselves and serve the least of these.

The war of raising children who grow up to be men and women who deny their fleshly lusts and choose instead the road of diligent, moment-by-moment faithfulness.

The war of raising children who will not be driven by an earthly treasure, but instead count it all loss for the joy of knowing Christ.

I’d venture to guess that these qualities are not cultivated by a home that neglects the forms of training in discipline from an early age.

I needed this view.

I have said often to others —”I don’t want to raise a jerk.”

I know now that this will require entering the war, taking on the bullets and assaults of my children’s sinful nature here and now, amidst diaper changes and second grade math lessons.

We have no small task before us. But may we be those who joyfully, lovingly, train our children in the way of discipline and self-denial, that they might know and experience the greater joy of a life lived unto the glory of a God, who will one day welcome them into His eternal peace and the very highest heights of fulfillment.

Mothers, let us now band together and raise the bar —our children can rise to meet it in time.